Saw-una

There is nothing quite like working during a sale at IKEA. The different levels or "shades" if you will of the lowest common denominator is quite thrilling. Amazing and breathtaking like an aurora borealis, except try not to breath too deep, you might not like what you taste. I will admit, IKEA is not Target. It is not Walmart, it is not Sears, or Home depot. It is "Japanese right?" a customer asked, semi aggressively as they usually do. No, it is swedish, which would explain why I have been asked if carry wooden clogs. I am sure you would picture the swedish wandering through their tulip fields which miraculously grow near the arctic circle. A favorite food of the arctic fox I'm sure. As far as the majority of our customers are concerned, the swedish are basically a combination of every other culture that is strange, but white. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to know about the swedes, or IKEA, or the concept of near and far. I get that IKEA is confusing. I do not however think it is so ambiguous that I would be asked where the baby strollers and car seats are sold.

"I'm sorry, a baby stroller is not really considered a home furnishing. That and the swedes eat their children soon after birth with pickled haring in a festival known as FanterSKoppen. I know, I know... weird swedes".

I have been asked for luggage, portable fireplaces (this sounds not only real, but safe), diapers, tennis rackets, car parts, and industrial meat slicers.

However, the best question I have ever had, in 6 years, I was gifted from god this weekend.

As I stood at the computer trying to avoid all eye contact with anything with eyes. I was approached by a couple, no older than mid to late thirties. So very Idaho, they practically left a trail of potatoes and mormons (Yes, mormons. Utah isn't the only holy state). The scruffy baseball capped, dirty flannel clad husband asked me a low, manly tone (be sure to apply accent):

"Huay, Whur you guys got stuff fer my saw una?"

"What"

"Whurs the stuff fer saw unas?:

"Huh"

This is where the very long haired pregnant wife chimed in.

"You know....Sawunas?"

She had a bit more of a sophisticated way of speaking by not making sawuna, two words.

"Oh..... Saunas....no, we don't sell things for your sauna."

It's almost as if he has owned a sauna, but just before showing up at IKEA, read the name of this bubbly water box for the first time, because he was indeed in need...of things for it. Now I came for semi bumpkin beginnings.... but... saw una? Thats just precious.