Project Fagtime

Things have changed I've been noticing. I'm thinking this as I fag out watching the new project runway with the enthusiasm of a white trash kid on lice check day. What happened? What happened to not only project runway, but to Lifetime as a whole. Lifetime used to be a channel that made no apologies for its vaseline lighting and crying in the shower. All things that women who spent the 80's drinking strawberry daiquiri wine coolers had grown to love and relate to. No other channel was giving you tips on figuring out if your husband was gay. No other channel offered gang rape and leukemia in one mascara streamed movie and/or mini series. No other channel kept a career alive for Judith Light, Jean Smart, Valerie Bertinelli, and the mom from family ties. As I watch the commercials for Lifetime now (which admittedly, I hadn't watched Lifetime since I was a faggy stoner of 20) it seems to have lost its path. It's now the gayest thing ever. Not even LOGO has such a limp wrist. There is some show where a pretty girls soul is in a fat girls body and in one episode, ONE, there is Liza Minelli, Rosie Oddonel, Delta Burke, and the maraschino cherry on that sundae is Paula Abdul. The only people watching this are super homo's. One probably named Rodger, who lives in the south and wears kimonos around the house while he eats cherry cordials. Just a hunch. They have traded vaseline for lube, Judith for Paula, and the golden girls for project runway. I obviously used to love project runway, seeing as how my friend was on it and won. I loved it before that though. I do not love this orphan amputee version of project runway. Its so lame. It's just a bunch of whiney, un-memorable wet towels bitching about the easiest challenges ever. EVER. Your challenge this week "designers" is to take any amount of money you want, and create any design you like, for any event you like. The twist is....you must use black thread, at some point, but if you don't.....thats o.k too. Innovation!

I don't want to watch the old lifetime, I don't want to watch the new lifetime either. I just feel bad for those women who now have to turn to the Hallmark channel for their banal emotional movies. Except now they have to deal with christian undertones. Why don't you just slap the Little Debbie right out of their hands you monster.